We are only 4 months into this new year of 2013 and i can honestly say it has been nothing shy of a year from hell so far. i cant even remember a time when so many bad things have happened or been going on that i have had to deal with. And might i add i have not been dealing very well with it all resulting in many trips to the dr and many different medication changes to help me get my mind right and stay half way sane. one way for me to cope has always been to talk it out or write my feelings out so here goes on my rant as you will....
First off after year of my baby girl having vomiting spells and no one knowing what was causing them she had an appendix attack on January 9th and had to have surgery to remove it on January 10th, it was by the most horrible things i have ever gone through when it comes to my babies. It killed me having to see her go through that at only 7 years old even though she was a trooper and did extremely well. I was terrified. she was in the hospital for 2 whole days before being able to come home and those were two whole days of me sitting there with (i would have had it any other way) without sleep. it came to a point where i thought i was literally having a breakdown over it. my mom was a big help during the whole thing, and my sister heather also as much as she could be due her schedule and being sick at the time but the one person that was suppose to be there for his daughter and his wife was not...at least not in the way i feel like he should have been. i actually felt alone during that time, having to do everything by myself, he kept our son occupied the majority of the time but i had to fuss at him before he would even call into work when his daughter was having surgery. He went home every single night got full nights of sleep, took his time getting back out the hospital each day and when it was surgery time, he left with his mother to grab lunch and i went back and sat in the operating waiting room ALL BY MYSELF. it was all in all just a horrible situation for riveranne and for me. but the Good Lord was listened to my many prayers and was with my baby girl and everything turned out good and she healed quickly and without any complications and for that i am truly thankful!
Second is something that was little but so ridiculous. i had someone play a prank on me about making a phone call that said i had fail to appear for jury duty. it was a prank, a joke, and one that i found to be hilarious. so what did i do i played it on several different people i know and all but one of them thought it was hilarious also...however when i called and played it on my mother in law, shit hit the fan. instead of being the adult that she clearly is and calling the number herself to find out that it was a prank she called her husband at work and made him do it and HE called me screaming and yelling and cursing me over it. soooo i simply hung up the phone on him and have not spoke to them since. i mean it was a joke not a dick dont take it so hard. i dont know if they are still irritated about it or what but they have not called or anything and its very odd because they were seeing my kids or having my kids at their house at least every other weekend but oh well, i have no intentions of speaking to either of them until there is an apology to me for the way he went off on me, because if i had known that they were having for real legal trouble i would have never done it but i will NOT apologize for what i did.
Third is my dad, he is clinically depressed and has always been a hypocondriac and an attention seeker my entire life but he played those games and pulled his last stunt with me a little over a month ago. he kicked my step mom out and was threatening to kill himself like he has a million times before but this time i had had enough and went to his house with intentions of beating his ass. i screamed yelled cursed and acted a fool in there i couldnt take it anymore, i wont take it anymore. i had all intentions of having him committed somewhere but he refused...however he is suppose to be getting in to speak with a shrink soon and it better happen or i will be done that was the deal. it has come the fact that i need a crazy pill just to be able to deal with him.
Fourth is my mom, she has turned into a hot damn mess when it comes to trying to date, my stupid sister put her on an online dating site and she cant make it without it now, always on there talking to all kinds of men and has even met several of them. i cant get in her head that she is not going to find the kind of guy and relationship she wants from there but she wont listen to me. she wont even make plans with any of us girls or the grandkids anymore because she is afraid she might miss out on some random man wanting to talk to her or meet up with her. its kinda freaky i think and def dangerous but she thinks she is fine because she is packing...tired of messing with her too
Fifth and the biggest problem not only in my life right now but for my whole family is my sister amy and her husband aaron. i know your shocked...lol but it def has not gotten any better but in my opinion has only gotten worse. i feel that i have now burnt the bridge between us because back between thanksgiving and christmas aaron decided to give me a call, a call that was suppose to get everything on the table so we could start mending things but instead resulted in him screaming yelling cursing, and telling me how horrible of a person i am and how they dont like me and dont want their daughter exposed to me, and as he was getting everything off his chest i was not allowed to speak at all so i feel that it was an attack and i have decided to end it all right then and there, i do not speak to them all and i def dont see then or my niece at all. they think we are ok, that with time things will get better me on the other hand, i think they are crazy if they think that things are ok, for one if either of them ever knew me at all they would know that i dont let people speak to me and then go on like everything is ok. for two they want me to change my entire being but they dont want to budge on anything because they dont think they do anything wrong when they have done all my family horrible wrong. well now my sister amy has felt it necessary to write my dad, who is already mentally unstable, a letter that pretty much told him he was a horrible person and the worst father and that he ruined her life and scared her in way she will never be able to overcome. so the shit goes on and on and will never get better especially for me because i am not willing to bow down to them and do everything they want done the way they want it done, ive never been that kind of person and im not gonna start now just because its my sister, i would much rather just not have any type of relationship with them at all so thats the path i have taken, im sure shit will hit the fan at some point over it but im prepared and it will def not be a one sided attack like it was last time trust that. they were at out family easter gathering with my moms side of the family and i did perfectly fine pretending they were not even there and the comment was made that my sister was shocked over it so im ready for a blow up, i know its coming.
And finally yet another very small ridiculous issue i have been having to deal with is my besties old friends, i got involved in something i probably shouldnt have but damn it was all i was hearing about when talking to her so i spoke my opinion with her friend and it was a big blow up i was actually trying to help the situtation but thats not what happened. I love my bestie she is the best friend i have ever had so i had to take up for her ya know....other than dealing with these petty issues and dealing with major panic attacks lately nd trying to find the right kind of medicine to help everything else is going great. jason has decided that after 6 years at akebono and always being on second or third shift he has now decided that he is going to step down from his position on second shift and he is going to days for the first time, its something we have all wanted for so long so im am completely supportive about it all but he is going to be loosing quite a bit of pay so im trippin about that a little bit but if all else fails i will quit school and get a job, gotta do whatcha gotta do and im willing to whatever i need to for my family. and another thing is we are looking for a new house to buy and we think he might have already found one, pretty exciting!
