My husband and i have been blessed with the perfect little family one daughter and one son...i was more than willing to try again for a third child but after our son was born my husband decided he did not want anymore kids, not wanting to be the kind of wife that would push my husband into having another child if he didnt want to i went with him to his consultation to have a vasectomy and i sign along with him to have it done. when our son was 11 months old my husband had his vasectomy. i cant lie that i was somewhat saddened over it all because i have only wanted to be a mother my entire life, my husband and i have the more gorgeous kids and i just wasnt completely ready to end the chances of us ever having anymore but it was done.
Now over three years later, our daughter is now 7 and our son is now 4 and i have been itching for another baby for a while now knowing there is nothing i can do about. With my husband having a vasectomy and with his two checks to make sure it was successful we have not used any protection and now here i am, LATE!!! I have never been late except for the two time when i found out i was pregnant. but not only am i late on my period but i have been having other things happen that only happened to me when i was pregnant, i have been gagging off and on when i smoke a cig, i am having weakness in my left wrist, i had a random puking spell with no nausiousness and i have had a yeast infection all of things have never happened to me ever in my life except for when i was pregnant with my two children. i really dont know wht to think about it all, im trying really hard not to get my hiopes up or excited because i am more than likely not pregnant but its still very odd to me. I mentioned it to my husband and he got every upset. letting me know that the reason he got a vasectomy was because he didnt want anymore children, he made the comment even though im sure he wasnt serious about it being someone elses child. it hurt my feelings that he took me mentioneding it to him about all these things made him so very mad and upset. when i would be overjoyed about the though of us having another child unplanned and it being a surprise. now i am terrified about even taking a test afraid that if for some miracle that i am pregnant again after him having a vasectomy that he would be so upset and mad about it that it would ruin our marriage...im not sure what to do or where to go from here, i know soon or later if i am it will be known maybe i should just wait it out.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
holiday season
i just love this time of year. it all starts with halloween which has been one of my favorite holidays eveery since i can remember, i love scary movies, haunted houses, dressing up and trick or treating and the kids and i really have a blast each year doing all that we can fit in our schedules. i just love it. then comes thanksgiving and since im an eater and i love good food its an awesome time also, i love being able to get together with all my family and enjoy awesome food and conversation. and then comes the best of all christmas. i love christmas and even though i know its not about the gifts and is about the birth of Jesus christ, i still love nothing more than to buy the people i love gifts that i know they will love. i enjoy watching them open presents...the excitement on my childrens faces come christmas morning is something that i look forward to all year long. it brings joy into my heart. having these times and holidays where all family can come together and enjoy time with each other is very important and very special to me...i just sure wish my grandparents were still here to be with us also during these times.
Friday, November 2, 2012
ima bestfriend bitch kinda girl
you know this is going to be a big venting session because i have alot of things on my mind lately and if i dont get them off in some way im gonna snap on someone and it is not going to be pretty...AT ALL!!! i think of myself as a laid back kinda girl, i love to have fun, i have a large and wild sense of humor and i am very forward, and unfiltered that usually makes people like me, think im hilarious, and also a bit crazy, i dont mind one bit, its just the way i am, i say what i think whether other peoplee think i should or not, i dont care what people think of me. i say what i think, i do what i want, im open, and ready to have a good time at all times. i can be your best friend and when i feel strongly for someone i will do anything i can for them. but im def not a person that should be crossed. i dont do well with people stepping to me especially when its over something really stupid. and i dont do well with people thinking they are better than me and trying to screw me over either. i dont feel like my thoughts and feelings should be held back in attempt not to offend someone else and im def not someone that will deal with a bunch of bullshit, or take shit off of anyone therefore, not only do i have tons of friends but i also have tons of enemies. i have always been this way, its not like its something new so dont act surprised or offended by me now!!! if i dont like something you will def know about it sorry if you cant handle the truth. so on to my point with it all. i always end up being the bad guy in any situation, why? because im the one that will SAY what everyone else in the room is THINKING. i will take the heat i dont mind because i can handle it. but with that statement know that i am usually just that the one willing to speak it but everyone feels the same way i do.
ok once i am crossed i tend to hold on to that, which should also be no surprise to anyone that has known me. example: once i know that you have said you dont want your child subjected to my vulgar mouth, my none filtering, my childrens mouths, you dont like the way i raise my children or the way i handle them, you think my children are rowdy and out of control and that they are covered in some kind of contagious disease they are going to spread around, we havent been invited to your house in over a freakin year, dont be texting me and calling me now inviting me over. thats just dumb, after knowing you said and thought all those things about me and my children why in the world would i be stupid enough to come to your house with them.
i get it iam sarcastic nearly all of the time, i tend to make jokes and poke fun all the time and this is something i have always done therefore why get your panties in a bunch now over it especially after i told you it was a joke yet you still run your mouth about it, its cool though, someone people cant handle me, and dont have the kinda sense of humor it takes to deal with me what i find funny is that it took all these year before you decided you couldnt handle it anymore. im not stupid i get it, i know excatly whats going on and why. see my true colors have always been on display yours however are just now coming out. and they arent cute colors either. someone people are willing to deal with it and put up with it but me doll, im am not one of them. if you want to know exactly what i think ask me, you know ill tell you, its nothing for me to eliminate one more person. what i dont think you understand is how easy it is for me not to care. its actually a flaw of mine. i can careless in the matter of seconds and once that happens there is no going back, learned that quick this summer when i thought i could go back to putting up with someones shit when in all truth, i could have cared less for her and anything going on with her...it was just a joke to think it would be any different.
finally getting this off my chest helps some but doesnt disolve the pissed offness i have in me with all the bullshit that has been going on lately. ive just realized that nothing is going to change, so im just gonna live my life the way i always have. i can be your best friend but i can be one hell of bitch as well. holding this all in was causing me to want to blow up and it would have been bad. so read this vent session and take it however you want, print it out, take notes. but dont come at me with them this time, keep it to yourself cause we have tried the talking crap and it never does any good so no need in wasting any more breath on it...it is what it is. but i hope you know its not you and its def not me thats gonna be hurting from it all!
now after not seeing my sorry ass father in law for over a year now, and my hubby finally decided he wasnt going to fool with him anymmore either, i was sooo excited to finally have that trouble maker out of our lives and not have to deal with his antics and drama all the damn time, he sent my daughter a cold check for her birthday and two weeks after my sons birthday he decided to send him a cold check as well in card and said "see you soon" in it...WELL since i dont want to have anything to do with him, and his own son, my hubby, doesnt wnt to have anything to do with him, he has been told and numbers have been changed i would really like to see how in the world he thinks he is going to be seeing my kids....so what am i doing now, waiting for the time when that dumbass tries to show up here at my house where he knows he is not welcomed and its going to be one hell of scene. im going to let him know everything i have every thought about him and he will be take off my property by the police or ill handle it my way, one way or the other he isnt seeing my kids. with all the bullshit i have been dealing with lately i dare him to show up here. is it bad that im beyond pissed about it but excited at the same time to finally have the chance to lay into him the way i have always wanted to...shew wee. revengefull....another one of my many flaws.
ok once i am crossed i tend to hold on to that, which should also be no surprise to anyone that has known me. example: once i know that you have said you dont want your child subjected to my vulgar mouth, my none filtering, my childrens mouths, you dont like the way i raise my children or the way i handle them, you think my children are rowdy and out of control and that they are covered in some kind of contagious disease they are going to spread around, we havent been invited to your house in over a freakin year, dont be texting me and calling me now inviting me over. thats just dumb, after knowing you said and thought all those things about me and my children why in the world would i be stupid enough to come to your house with them.
i get it iam sarcastic nearly all of the time, i tend to make jokes and poke fun all the time and this is something i have always done therefore why get your panties in a bunch now over it especially after i told you it was a joke yet you still run your mouth about it, its cool though, someone people cant handle me, and dont have the kinda sense of humor it takes to deal with me what i find funny is that it took all these year before you decided you couldnt handle it anymore. im not stupid i get it, i know excatly whats going on and why. see my true colors have always been on display yours however are just now coming out. and they arent cute colors either. someone people are willing to deal with it and put up with it but me doll, im am not one of them. if you want to know exactly what i think ask me, you know ill tell you, its nothing for me to eliminate one more person. what i dont think you understand is how easy it is for me not to care. its actually a flaw of mine. i can careless in the matter of seconds and once that happens there is no going back, learned that quick this summer when i thought i could go back to putting up with someones shit when in all truth, i could have cared less for her and anything going on with her...it was just a joke to think it would be any different.
finally getting this off my chest helps some but doesnt disolve the pissed offness i have in me with all the bullshit that has been going on lately. ive just realized that nothing is going to change, so im just gonna live my life the way i always have. i can be your best friend but i can be one hell of bitch as well. holding this all in was causing me to want to blow up and it would have been bad. so read this vent session and take it however you want, print it out, take notes. but dont come at me with them this time, keep it to yourself cause we have tried the talking crap and it never does any good so no need in wasting any more breath on it...it is what it is. but i hope you know its not you and its def not me thats gonna be hurting from it all!
now after not seeing my sorry ass father in law for over a year now, and my hubby finally decided he wasnt going to fool with him anymmore either, i was sooo excited to finally have that trouble maker out of our lives and not have to deal with his antics and drama all the damn time, he sent my daughter a cold check for her birthday and two weeks after my sons birthday he decided to send him a cold check as well in card and said "see you soon" in it...WELL since i dont want to have anything to do with him, and his own son, my hubby, doesnt wnt to have anything to do with him, he has been told and numbers have been changed i would really like to see how in the world he thinks he is going to be seeing my kids....so what am i doing now, waiting for the time when that dumbass tries to show up here at my house where he knows he is not welcomed and its going to be one hell of scene. im going to let him know everything i have every thought about him and he will be take off my property by the police or ill handle it my way, one way or the other he isnt seeing my kids. with all the bullshit i have been dealing with lately i dare him to show up here. is it bad that im beyond pissed about it but excited at the same time to finally have the chance to lay into him the way i have always wanted to...shew wee. revengefull....another one of my many flaws.