leave it to my daughter

Riveranne just turned 6 years old but has always from day one had the mentality of a child much older. I believe it comes from her being with me day in and day out before she went to school and me always talking to her like she was grown, no baby talk. My mother says i was the very same way so she must get it honest. She has always talked about and played like she was grown with a husband and kids, she already has names picked out for her kids, my four grandkids 2 girls and 2 boys, Shyli Lo, kyla, Brick, and Jake. she wants to be a wife and a mother just like me. she is very smart also, and has common sense something that alot of adults dont even have. and even though she is very grown in the way she thinks, acts and talks she still have that childish carefree way about it.

 Tonight i decided to go get some junk food after it had already gotten dark out, she was so shocked that the stores were still open so late (8pm) when i informed her that alot of them stay open all night long and said "shew wee i couldnt ever work at a place that stays open all night cause i would get so tired and might fall asleep and not know when it is time to get off and go home." i just giggled. after leaving Food Lion with our junk food in the car on the way home Riveranne told me she wanted to be a cashier, the person that we give our money too because it would be so cool to get to keep all that money...i then told her that the cashiers dont get to keep all that money, and she said " you mean the owner gets it all, thats not fair" i said yeah the owner gets all that money and then...and she jumped right in and said " and then they give the cashiers a paycheck for doing all the work so good right?" and i said yes! she then asked me who the owner of Food Lion was and i said well its a man named Food Lion and she got really queit...after a few minutes she spoke back up and said in a very questionable voice " you mean to tell me there is a man named Food Lion....Food lion really?" i just busted out laughing, it was soooo funny!!! i couldnt fool her! she acts and just like me, which people tend to think im a bit crazy but i love it and i totally love that she is just like me! she my bestest girl in the world and she knows it.

what i love most

sitting back in the beach chair, sunglasses on, yet eyes closed, all oiled up. putting my face to the sky and feeling the sun on my face, on my body, hot and tingling. sitting there all layed out soaking up all the sun i can until i cant take it anymore then jumping into the cold water, its shocking at first but feels so good. i love sitting there watching my children, jumping into the pool, splashing, floating, playing and laughing, there is nothing better than seeing the smiles on their faces and hearing them giggle and laugh, it warms my heart while the sun warms my body. i love sitting there with my very best friends in the world, chatting, laughing, being able to take about anything and be completely myself, snapping pictures, and gossiping about the latest drama going on. we sit at the kiddie pool cause all our kids are very small so we wait for the whissle so we can grab our kids and head to take a dip in the big pool in peace...its relaxing, its fun, we all love it.

coming home from a day in the sun and cooling off in the awesome AC, getting out of our wet clothes and me and my two babies crawl into my big bed, snuggling all together, watching cartoons until they drift off into a nap, i lay there looking at them, so sweet and innocent, their heads laying on my arm and me running my hands threw their hair or rubbing their backs while they rest until i myself fall into a nap...sooo lovely!!

and after all the fun there comes a time where i actually get to cook and clean up the house while the kids continue playing. then we go to the back yard where i watch them swing, run, pull each other in the wagon, ride their bikes and play and laugh, while the bugs bite my legs....but i love it all

finally, sitting on the porch on a warm summer evening, high on the hill where my house sits out looking the city in which we live, watching the sun set and feeling the breeze. the lightning bugs are flying around and my children along with the two dogs are running around, playing, and laughing. so relaxing. then coming in getting ready for bed, watching some tv and snuggling on the couch, tickling them, getting sweet kisses and hugs and say "i love you" over and over again until it is time to tuck my sweet angels in their beds...and of course i go back in to check on them before i go to bed, to make sure they are comfortable, sleeping well and perfect, and you know they always are...this is the life i live and i wouldnt change a thing, its a better life than i could ever asks for, i have been so blessed.

what more?

what more do you want from me? i try so hard to let things go, to move on, and pretend things havent happened and things havent been said but i have the hardest time with it. i am the biggest grudge holder i know, i cant help it, i have always been this way and i just dont see the point in trying to forgive and pretend nothing ever happened when i know it will happen again and in all the situations i have been in where i have tried to move on and forget, it has always happened again and again. what more do you want from me? so i was told i dont put forth enough effort, when in all honesty you dont put forth enough effort, i invite you and you dont come...what am i suppopse to do about it, i cant make you care or feel like you should be there when you obviously dont but get upset with me when i stop inviting you. its a waste of breath on my part. we can talk about it all you want but nothing ever changes.

on a better note: my baby girl is now 6 years old and she had the best birthday ever, we had the biggest crowd ever and lots and lots of fun...i cant tell you how proud i am of her she is such a big girl, very respectful and smart. you dont get any better than her and my boog. im just so glad that she has soooo many awesome people in her life to love her. the toys have taken over my house and i love every bit of it. my best friend jenn got married a week ago and i am so very happy for her, she finally has a wonderful man in her life that loves her and her baby girls as much as they deserve. it hurt my heart so bad that i couldnt be there with her on her special day but at least she knows i was there in spirit and that i love her to pieces. i have seen her go through stuff she shouldnt have ever had to go through, but now she has someone that loves her and her babies finally have the daddy they needed.

i am loving this warm weather, i live for summer time. my daughter got a summer pass to the city pool for her birthday and we have already been living there, have so much fun and getting a good tan, we all just love it and it give us something we can all do as a family during the summer.

well all in all my life is great, i cant complain cause i have all i could ever want. and with that being said...bye