well surgery didnt go as planned, was suppose to go in have it taken out and then head back to the house same day, but leave it up to me to have a huge liver in the way taking much longer in surgery, some extra bleeding resulting in a drain tube and over night stay in the hospital with lots of pain... and note to self even though they was giving me to "good stuff" while in the hospital, moraphine isnt really all that great for pain, it just makes you so drowsy and looney just dont really care that your still hurting really bad. and of course jason didnt stay with me that night in the hospital, my step mom debbie did, jason never stays with me when i have had to stay over in the hospital, poor thing might miss a few hours of sleep, since i have been home jason has taken care of the kids good but the house work is piling up and im just too sore still to do it so i guess it will just pile on up...
and of course during moments like this people show you there true colors, so many people called, texted, messaged me, and stuff to check on me and i was so thankful for that, shows you that people really do care, and then some people do the very opposite, and of course thats when i remind myself that i shouldnt have been expecting anything from them in the first place so that i wouldnt be dissapointed and once i have reminded myself of that, i never give it another thought.
had a wonderful Easter even though i wasnt feeling the best, i was able to spend it with all my family, my moms side on saturday with dinner and egg hunt at my house and then with my dads side on sunday with lunch and egg hunt, kids had a blast and that was all i wanted was to see them have fun...Easter bunny was too good to them as well...maybe cause they are such awesome kids...dont find kids like my kids these days, grateful, thankful, respectful, loving, caring, and they behave, i sure dont know any. knowing me you know this weekend was a wonderful one for me because of all the storms we got, i just loved loved loved it, still got a few more day of them to come too and im very excited about that. oh and i have had two new babies born in the family in a week, very exciting, baby lilly james dillon was born last monday and is gorgeous and then briar easton babb surprised us all with his appearance on easter sunday, funny huh, Easton born on Easter!!! and he is so handsome as well...sure makes me want another one sometimes when i see all these precious little babies, i really miss mine being that small, times has just flown by and all my babies are growing up on me and i dont know what to do...i keep reminding my sisters that they need to have me some more neice and nephews to keep my baby fix but its just not working too well....lol
well seems as if all that moriphine they gave me is still haviing some effects on me and i feel as if i could pass out at anytime alseep, im gonna end this right here and take a bit of a nap maybe...sooo but im pretty hungry too...too many choices
Monday, April 25, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
blah blah blah
is sitting here just plum exhausted, trying to get all the laundry, dishes, floorsand everything else cleaned up and done before i go to have my gallbladder taken out in the morning. i also have some homework and a couple tests to study for and i feel as if i havent had any sleep. it seems the only way to get some rest is to go in for surgery. And even though im not actually nervous about the surgery itself, i am very uneasy about the recovery process and the fact that jason is gonna be taking care of the kids and the house for a couple days all by himself. This meaning nothing is gonna get done and will all be waiting for me as soon as i can do it myself. and there will be nothing but arguing and stuff going on because jason has no patients when it comes to the kids and the kids tend to test him way more than they do me...so the more i think about the more i realize it will be a rushed recovery process if i want to keep my sanity.
on another note this semester is almost to the end and i am doing great still...i have A's in every class but one and i am very very proud, i have actually really enjoyed this semester and cant wait to get going on the next one, gonna take more classes next time, im confident that it will be good as well. still seriously thinking about changing my major to meteorology. i just know i would love it.
i have been the mood to go out and hang out with friends lately and thanks to my girl Jenn i have been able to get away from the house a few times and hang out with her a bit, i love it and need it at times. i dont have many people to hang out with these days and not usually not hardly anytime to do so either, but its nice to know someone is thinking about you and wants to see and talk to you in between the busy stresses of life...its good to have some relief sometimes...is still so excited about this weekend full of easter fun, hunting eggs, family and friends, and good food...even though ill be moving slow i cant wait to see the kids all excited, they just love hunting eggs and they are gonna be able to a few different times this weekend, also gonna color a bunch of eggs, we all love doing that also. well thought i would write a quick blog since i hadnt in a while so there ya go...have a great day.
on another note this semester is almost to the end and i am doing great still...i have A's in every class but one and i am very very proud, i have actually really enjoyed this semester and cant wait to get going on the next one, gonna take more classes next time, im confident that it will be good as well. still seriously thinking about changing my major to meteorology. i just know i would love it.
i have been the mood to go out and hang out with friends lately and thanks to my girl Jenn i have been able to get away from the house a few times and hang out with her a bit, i love it and need it at times. i dont have many people to hang out with these days and not usually not hardly anytime to do so either, but its nice to know someone is thinking about you and wants to see and talk to you in between the busy stresses of life...its good to have some relief sometimes...is still so excited about this weekend full of easter fun, hunting eggs, family and friends, and good food...even though ill be moving slow i cant wait to see the kids all excited, they just love hunting eggs and they are gonna be able to a few different times this weekend, also gonna color a bunch of eggs, we all love doing that also. well thought i would write a quick blog since i hadnt in a while so there ya go...have a great day.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
frustrated
woke up this morning after having a dream and was madder than fire, with lots to say to a certain person and the more i thought about it the madder i got, i got up out of the bed and got the kids up and breakfast made and thought about what i was gonna say to this person, everything i felt, let them know about themselves and then i realized all of sudden how they were not worth one breath from me or one second of my thoughts.
its odd how a dream will bring back up something that you havent even thought about in a long minute, and then its all right back, all the anger, and frustration and wanting to let those people know about themselves, i have always been a very confrontational person, i will let you know exactly how i feel about almost anything without worrying about what you really think. the fact that i havent really told these people exactly what i think of them i believe is what has brought it all back up to me again in a dream, especially since i have been having very descriptive dreams lately. All i want to do is come face to face with them and let them know how hypicritical they are, and childish, and as much as they may think they are christians, they really need to re-evalute themselves with the way they act and treat others that have done nothing but help them out in the past and do for them, love them and pray for them. talk about people behind their backs and make up lies about them... sometimes i wonder how i let them slip under my radar and why i ever did so much for them and gave a crap about them when i was witnessing them do others this way, i should have def know they would do it to me as well...i must have been stupid or something...i know that coming face to face with them and telling everything i thought would have no effect on them cause they enjoy being the way they are like its a game or something to them and all their friends but still i really think it would make me feel better but why waste my time and breath, they are not worth it, not one bit, they will be the ones to have to live with the way they have done people and trying to call themselves christians there is no place for me to to do it for them, it will come back to them soon enough....
these dreams are really starting to bother me with bringing back up all kinds of different things i hadnt worried with in a while...but oh well...just thought i would vent this out this morning and get some of it off my chest persay.
its odd how a dream will bring back up something that you havent even thought about in a long minute, and then its all right back, all the anger, and frustration and wanting to let those people know about themselves, i have always been a very confrontational person, i will let you know exactly how i feel about almost anything without worrying about what you really think. the fact that i havent really told these people exactly what i think of them i believe is what has brought it all back up to me again in a dream, especially since i have been having very descriptive dreams lately. All i want to do is come face to face with them and let them know how hypicritical they are, and childish, and as much as they may think they are christians, they really need to re-evalute themselves with the way they act and treat others that have done nothing but help them out in the past and do for them, love them and pray for them. talk about people behind their backs and make up lies about them... sometimes i wonder how i let them slip under my radar and why i ever did so much for them and gave a crap about them when i was witnessing them do others this way, i should have def know they would do it to me as well...i must have been stupid or something...i know that coming face to face with them and telling everything i thought would have no effect on them cause they enjoy being the way they are like its a game or something to them and all their friends but still i really think it would make me feel better but why waste my time and breath, they are not worth it, not one bit, they will be the ones to have to live with the way they have done people and trying to call themselves christians there is no place for me to to do it for them, it will come back to them soon enough....
these dreams are really starting to bother me with bringing back up all kinds of different things i hadnt worried with in a while...but oh well...just thought i would vent this out this morning and get some of it off my chest persay.
Monday, April 4, 2011
the week ahead
so as monday was sure to come here i am at 6 in the morning on riverannes spring break wide awake while both kids are still sleeping, jason just went to work. i wanted nothing more than the kids to sleep in so i could and that just didnt happen. oh well. as i sit here in the darken house im very hopeful and excited for the storms we are suppose to be getting today, i just cant say enough how much i really really love them...i could have it come a thunderstorm every other day. My windows are open and im loving the warm tempts and the awesome breeze coming in. and as calm as i am right now i am also very overwhelmed with all that i have going on this week. oh how i wish i was on the beach relaxing all week, soaking up the sun, and having a blast like my youngest sister is this week, but as she is living the dream, im here at home living the reality.
Today starts the fun, i have to take my daughter to the dr this morning because she has been having alot of issues with not being able to hear. i catch her with her tv blaring all the time saying she cant hear it. It has been taking me 3 or 4 times saying here name before she seems to hear me and answer me and as much as i would like to get angry thinking it is just selective hearing im afraid that it really isnt and that she is having some real trouble with her ears and really cant hear me. she has always had alot of trouble with ear infections and now i just praying that there is nothing permenantly wrong with her poor little ears because of them.
on another medical note, i am also gonna be having a procedure done this week, an upper scope run on my stomach because they are wanting to check and make sure i dont have a hernia, or something else wrong before they go ahead and remove my gallbladder which is full of gall stones, i only pray that they fing out something might explain all the stomach issues and back pain i have been having for way to long now. i cant lie and say im not nervous, they say i will be sudated but im still tripping about feeling the scope being put down my throat, and then im tripping about being put all the way out for my gallbladder to be removed as well, even though i have had two c section i was awake for them so this will be the first time i have ever been completely put under.
and yet another glorious thing this week is, this is jasons long week to work making it even less time he is here to help me out with everything else going on and i have to be at western tuesday all day for class and a test, then thursday for class and a test, and then again on friday for yet another wonderful test, yep you heard that right, three tests this week along with everything else..yay for me. and as much as i really should be studying for the three test i have, i am sitting here on the computer typing away. you know i scheduled this whole semester of college around jason working 2nd shift and it was all working out great until his job decided to move him to a 12 hour day shift right in the middle of my semester forcing me to search and try and find a babysitter for a son and now both of my children since riveranne is on spring break this week, not an easy task might i add, but it has all worked out so far, it just makes it all very stressful for me at time.
now on to a lighter topic, this weekend was awesome, perfect weather, jason was off, and we had a great time all together, much needed family time for sure. it was perfect. its coming upon that time again for cookouts and family and friends time and i just simply cant wait, its my favorite time of the years, so many fun things you can do in the spring and summer. and now my loves have awaken so my life of milk and honey buns has started...good morning everyone.
Today starts the fun, i have to take my daughter to the dr this morning because she has been having alot of issues with not being able to hear. i catch her with her tv blaring all the time saying she cant hear it. It has been taking me 3 or 4 times saying here name before she seems to hear me and answer me and as much as i would like to get angry thinking it is just selective hearing im afraid that it really isnt and that she is having some real trouble with her ears and really cant hear me. she has always had alot of trouble with ear infections and now i just praying that there is nothing permenantly wrong with her poor little ears because of them.
on another medical note, i am also gonna be having a procedure done this week, an upper scope run on my stomach because they are wanting to check and make sure i dont have a hernia, or something else wrong before they go ahead and remove my gallbladder which is full of gall stones, i only pray that they fing out something might explain all the stomach issues and back pain i have been having for way to long now. i cant lie and say im not nervous, they say i will be sudated but im still tripping about feeling the scope being put down my throat, and then im tripping about being put all the way out for my gallbladder to be removed as well, even though i have had two c section i was awake for them so this will be the first time i have ever been completely put under.
and yet another glorious thing this week is, this is jasons long week to work making it even less time he is here to help me out with everything else going on and i have to be at western tuesday all day for class and a test, then thursday for class and a test, and then again on friday for yet another wonderful test, yep you heard that right, three tests this week along with everything else..yay for me. and as much as i really should be studying for the three test i have, i am sitting here on the computer typing away. you know i scheduled this whole semester of college around jason working 2nd shift and it was all working out great until his job decided to move him to a 12 hour day shift right in the middle of my semester forcing me to search and try and find a babysitter for a son and now both of my children since riveranne is on spring break this week, not an easy task might i add, but it has all worked out so far, it just makes it all very stressful for me at time.
now on to a lighter topic, this weekend was awesome, perfect weather, jason was off, and we had a great time all together, much needed family time for sure. it was perfect. its coming upon that time again for cookouts and family and friends time and i just simply cant wait, its my favorite time of the years, so many fun things you can do in the spring and summer. and now my loves have awaken so my life of milk and honey buns has started...good morning everyone.