This year has been somewhat of a difficult year for me so far. I have had alot of different things going on and i have felt very overwhelmed for the majority of these last 5 months. This semester has been a very difficult one for me, im not sure if it is the fact that i have taken 4 challenging class that required alot more work and attention or if it is the fact that i have not been motivated at all for this semester, or more than likely both combined. I am not doing well this semester and will come out with C and maybe even a D which is very disapointing because the last two semesters i have had all A's. Im really glad its almost over, im in my last week of classes and then i have finals week and then thank the Lord for a 3 month summer vacation. im really hoping i can be refreshed after summer break and will return in the fall with a better attitude for my school work, however the class routine will be different for me because i will have all online class except for one and i think that will work alot better for me.
I was laid off from my job which was only very parttime to begin with, im kinda relieved because it removed one of the many things i had to do each day but then i do kinda miss the money that i made that was mine and ready to be blown. they said they may have me come back in afew months but im not sure if im gonna do it or not. we are totally in love with our new house, everything about it, however the cops have been called on my at least 6 or 7 times since we have been here by a very uptight neighbor down the street that doesnt like the fact that our small dogs bark when they are outside on our property in our fenced in backyard. im thinking about having a big party and im gonna invite all the cops in glasgow because we have all become quite good friends because of their recent stops at my house...lol its actually comical and when they are called we all kind of giggle now when they show up...
I have been trying very hard these last severak month to dig deep into myself and figure a few things out, i believe i have made pretty good progress so far but are far from finished working on myself. I have really tried to eliminate all negative things from my life and i have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard i try those kind of things are always going to be around it just depends on how i react to them. after a few month of really having it out with a few people in my family that are nothing but drama filled and trouble makers i had decided to let it all go get over it and move on without allowing them to be a part of my life or have any kind of control over me at all. i had been doing so good and thought that it was all over and then yesturday when i went to my daughters school to pick her up early for a dr's appointment there she (the one i have been having trouble with) sat in her van looking at me as i went in and got my daughter. we came back out got in the car and drove away like i hadnt even seen her and then bam, as i was at the dr with my daughter the cops showed up at my house, this time because they had been called that i had let my small child that was suppose to be in the backseat in a carseat in the front seat. my daughter was in the front seat but she is very well big enough to be up there if i want her to be and far big enough to be out of a carseat a long long time ago. of course i was mad, i was fire mad but im not shocked because i had let it go and they are the kind of people that cant live without drama so they will do anything they have to create some, but trust me it will come back on them some day and ill be the one sitting back laughing at them then. i have still been dealing with my horrible father inlaw that i have tried my damndest to remove from my life, he has been stopping by my house knowing i he is not welcomed here and my husband has just been letting him so i had to get ugly about it and thankfully he hasnt been by in a week or so and hopefully that is the way it will stay. i have also learned really quick that some people in this world will say whatever they want to say knowing it is a lie and that it could completely ruin someones life, it has happened in my family recently and i have been fighting extremely hard to try and make sure it doesnt happen and as of now it is just a waiting game as to see what will happen if anything. not a feeling i like at all and i def dont like all the hurt it has caused to a family member of mine that i care deeply about.
I have not been dealing well with the fact that my very best friend has moved away and i am unable to see or talk to her as much as i had been in the past. she is only about 30 minutes away but with my busy life and hers, it has been weeks since i have seen her and i havent talked to her hardly at all either. i dont like it but its something that i have no choice but to deal with. I also reallized that it has been like 8 months now since i have seen or even spoken to a certain person that at one point in my life was like a sister to me, she was my very best friend and im still finding it hard at times not having her in my life and being able to share all the awesome, crazy, crappy things that have gone on with me in these last several months, so much has changed with me that and im sure it has with her as well that we literally dont even know each other at all anymore. its saddens me at times but also something that i have no choice but to accept and deal with and lately i have been doing better with that as well. recently i decided that it was time to let everyone know a secret i had been hiding for a long time, a habit if you choose that i have been doing and hiding from everyone in my family and even though it is far being the worst thing i could do and everyone is a tad upset and disapointed in me for doing it they are dealing with it and it has been a huge weight lifted off my shoulders and alot of stress relieved since i dont really have to hide it anymore. and no im not on drugs or anything but i have been smoking cigs and no one knew.
We added a new addition to the heller house this week, a black male pug, his name is Ace and he is just the cutest thing in the world and a wonderful dog, so sweet. so now we have a full blooded pug Ace, a half boxer half pug Rayni, and a half shihtzu half pug Stormie, and they are all getting along so well and i love all my fur kids. things all in all have been good over my way.
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