back with a vengeance

        It has been way to long since i have sit down and just started writing all that was on my mind. i let a couple of people that couldnt handle the things i was writing effect me and stop me from doing so but that changes today. when i sit down at this computer and just write whatever is on my mind, it helps me, its like talking it all over with someone, getting it off my chest and it helps me from holding it all in( like i tend to do ) and then blowing up later. This is why i have decided to start this blog back up, it will prob not all be nice but the way i see it is, if you dont like what i have to say then you dont have to read it, this is my blog, and i can write and say whatever i want whenever i want and thats exactly what im fixing to do with hopes in not to overwhelm everyone.....lol
       man where to begin, i have had so many things happen. first off i have been having some bad health issues that i am still trying to figure out, nerves been all out of whack and after the fourth different med i think i might actually have the one thats gonna help but its still a waiting game. i have also been having some major stomach issues resulting it me vomiting a few times a week, first i thought it was my nerves but now im not so sure, if you know me you know that i am pukeaphobic therefore i will do anything in my power not to get sick to my stomach and nothing has been working, its a day to day struggle where i have changed my eating habits drastically and lost 40 lbs, i worry every single time i put something in my mouth whether or not it will end up making me sick. im not sure what is causing it and i dont know how to stop it so like i said its a day to day struggle that i am trying to deal with.
       Jason decided a few months ago that his position at his job was not worth all the time he was missing with the kids so he decided to step down, take a huge pay cut, and finally after 6 years there he went to day shift, it has been a huge adjustment for all of us, the plus side, we get to see jason a whole lot more and he has a lot more day off now, the down side, the pay cut of course that is making "living" a bit more difficult especially since i have not finished school yet and i do not have a job. we are working with what we have and we always make ends meet but its not easy. since school has been out we have been doing our usual routine of hitting the pool up as much as possible getting our swim and tan on and riveranne has just made me so proud this summer, she can swim a whole lot better this summer and just jumps in and does her thing and has sooo much fun and i love it, ryder does too but of course with his lifejacket on!!!! i will say this summer seems to be going by so fast for some reason though and that i am not ready for because i am not ready for school to start back for the kids or for me and the early bedtimes and early mornings, shew wee...the good thing for me is i was able to apply for graduation already and if everything goes as planned i will be graduating in dec 2014 with a business management degree so thats a plus because thats only 3 semesters away.
       I have been having issues with one of my sisters for a long time now and i wont go into all of it but i will say that i have been able to accept the outcome, and deal with being "banned" from their lives alot better than i thought i would. its funny how easy it has been for me, normally i dont even give it thought until they play little games with me and then well you know me, it can get ugly, but then im right back to living my life without them, and you know what its ok with me! i have everything i need when it comes to family and friends, im blessed even though its not always peachy. no one needs people in their lives that think they are better, or think that you arent good enough, there comes a time when you just need to realize its not worth the trouble family or not, and just move on...and i think im doing that pretty well.
       well i think this is enough chatter for one blog but i will be back...i promise and it will not be long either...lol it feels good to and im not giving it up anymore because some people cant handle it.