what more?

what more do you want from me? i try so hard to let things go, to move on, and pretend things havent happened and things havent been said but i have the hardest time with it. i am the biggest grudge holder i know, i cant help it, i have always been this way and i just dont see the point in trying to forgive and pretend nothing ever happened when i know it will happen again and in all the situations i have been in where i have tried to move on and forget, it has always happened again and again. what more do you want from me? so i was told i dont put forth enough effort, when in all honesty you dont put forth enough effort, i invite you and you dont come...what am i suppopse to do about it, i cant make you care or feel like you should be there when you obviously dont but get upset with me when i stop inviting you. its a waste of breath on my part. we can talk about it all you want but nothing ever changes.

on a better note: my baby girl is now 6 years old and she had the best birthday ever, we had the biggest crowd ever and lots and lots of fun...i cant tell you how proud i am of her she is such a big girl, very respectful and smart. you dont get any better than her and my boog. im just so glad that she has soooo many awesome people in her life to love her. the toys have taken over my house and i love every bit of it. my best friend jenn got married a week ago and i am so very happy for her, she finally has a wonderful man in her life that loves her and her baby girls as much as they deserve. it hurt my heart so bad that i couldnt be there with her on her special day but at least she knows i was there in spirit and that i love her to pieces. i have seen her go through stuff she shouldnt have ever had to go through, but now she has someone that loves her and her babies finally have the daddy they needed.

i am loving this warm weather, i live for summer time. my daughter got a summer pass to the city pool for her birthday and we have already been living there, have so much fun and getting a good tan, we all just love it and it give us something we can all do as a family during the summer.

well all in all my life is great, i cant complain cause i have all i could ever want. and with that being said...bye