wrecking ball

one year ago this month i came back in contact with someone from high school. this person was a friend of mine, i met him my sophomore year, he was a junior, he was very kind, caring, poetic with words, and quite good looking, however at the time of me meeting him i had already been with jason for nearly 2 years and was madly in love already. there was a time while we were in high school that he had made it known to me that he wanted to be more than friends with me but respect my relationship with jason. i cant lie i had gained feelings for him and therefore had to end our friendship because i was not willing to give up anything that i had with jason (i still am not willing to do so) jason and i have now been together for 15 years now and married for 11 of those and have 2 beautiful children a wonderful home and an amazing life. i am still madly in love with jason. no relationship is perfect and this time last year we were in the middle of a rough patch when i came  back in contact with this guy on facebook. it has been 12 years since i have seen him (i will refer to him as BAS) and throughout those 12 years i have always thought of him, wondered where he was, how he was doing, and would have dreams all the time of seeing him and not being able to reach him. it really has been something that has "haunted" me from the last time i saw him. so when i found him on facebook a year ago i was overly excited to hear from him again. i lit up like i havent in years, of course it probably was not the best time for the reconnection and especially the fact that he let me know that he still felt the same way about me, was so glad to have found me, and was full of all kinds of flattery that i wasnt getting from the man that was suppose to be doing those things. dont get me wrong nothing inappropriate happened, we didnt meet up or anything like that, i wouldnt do that but i cant lie and say that it didnt bring up some feelings of "what if" and the fact that i may have always had some kind of feelings for BAS since i have always thought of him and wondered. all these years of thinking of him and wondering about him had a hold on me so when i found him i didnt want to let it go, somehow i feel like i need him in my life and i dont know what to do about it or where he would fit in my life anyways. we ended the reconnection and communication because i was very confused and afraid of what might happen but now i feel devastated that i cant talk to him and stuff like i have lost him all over again like i did 12 years ago when he graduated and moved away. and i dont know if i can handle that again, i feel like i need him someway and i just dont know, i still freaking think about him every single day...what is wrong with me, what should i do?