march 10th 2016 worst day of my entire life

this day will forever be burned into my brain and heart. my uncle CB was a huge influence in my life, many times he was more of a father than my own father was, and he even walked me down the isle the day i got married. i loved him more than he will ever know, so on march 10th 2016 the day HE passed away, changed me and my life forever. ive been through alot of shit in my life and i have lost alot of people that i loved as well but nothing will ever compare to me losing my uncle CB. See he had been sick for a while and in the hospital in our town for days and i made sure i was there every single day with him. The early morning when he first went into the hospital i went running to be with him and when i walked in my aunt turned to him and said Tabatha is here, and he looked my way and said I KNEW SHE WOULD BE!! oh it just melted my heart and he was right i would always be there when they needed me. for days i sat with him in the hospital here before they decided he needed to go to louisville for better help. the day the ambulance came to get him and take i held his hand and walk alongside his bed as they pushed him out, at this time he was none verbal but he would let us know he knew and understood what we were saying to him, so i bent over him, kissed his forehead and told him everything was gonna be ok, he was gonna be ok and that i would be up to louisville asap to be with him. a whole week went by with CB in louisville and i wasnt able to find a sitter and make up there to be with him and then one march 10th when i finally had someone to sit with my kids and i was headed to louisville in the pouring rain, i was less than halfway there when i got the call saying i needed to turn around because he was passing. as soon as i walked back into my house they called me again and told me he was gone. ill never forget it as long as i live. at that very moment something in my broke, i crumpled to the floor and sobbed for hours, its a feeling i have never felt before, something in me died the day he left this earth and i havent been and never will be the same ever again. i have been eat up with guilt ever since because i told him i would be there and i never made it there to be with him, i feel like i let him down and that he will never know how much he meant to me and how much i will always love and miss him. its been over a year and i still struggle with losing him every single day.