I know im not the only person in the world that likes to feel wanted, loved, and appreciated, everyone in the world longs for that in each relationship they have with someone. i have always wanted to feel that way from the people in my life and i have always been disapointed, by everyone! i have now determined i have set the bar for these things way too high!!! maybe i have set it so high that the people in my life just simply cant reach my expectations.
I have been disapointed more times than not in last several months when it comes to things in my life. I have been disapointed in my family and friends and in myself. All i have ever wanted was to be appreciated for the things i do, i want my husband to appreciate me for all that i do for him and the kids around the house, for being able to do all those things while going to school and working parttime also...i want him to want and to show me he loves me which i feel like never happens, it seems like after 12 years of being together the only time he show me any attention is when he wants some and then everything he does and says is vulgar and thats it. I want my family to appreciate all i do for them and to respect my feelings and stuff. I want to be able to say that i have a best friends and really feel it to be true, i want feel like im someones best friend also, i want to have them miss me when i havent seen them or talked to them in a while, and i want them to treasure me like i treasure them. and even though i have a wonderful husband and two perfect children, and awesome family and a few good friends i still feel like these things are missing in my life. i often find myself feeling leftout, not wanted, and taken advantage of. I am chalking this up to nothing more than jealousy!!! and i mean ME jealous because i see the people i want these things from so badly giving these things to other people and i feel like im not! for example: there was this one girl that i totally considered my very best friend in the world and i would see how she was let her friends out of town know how much she missed them and couldnt wait to see them, i get it they dont live near each other so she probably did miss them and couldnt wait to see them and hang out but just because her and i lived closer to each other, we still didnt see each other or even talk that much and she never not even once ever thought those things about me when i missed her terribly and the friendship we once had of being together all the time and knowing everything about each other! now example 2: another friends of mine i have been friends with nearly my whole life, her and i are very close and i would also consider her one of my very best friends, we have been hanging out a whol lot in the past few months, doing all kinds of things together, and even letting our kids play together, it was awesome... but the last weeks i completely feel like i have been tossed over in the ditch because she has becomes friends with someone else and they are together every single day...im not included. i like this other girl just fine, she seems just fine i guess im just jealous because i had been able to hang out with my friends alot and now that has ended, plus my friends has been letting the other girl know how much she loves her, and appreciated her friendship, and how much fun she has with her all the time and she never ever told me any of those things. i also recall my friends saying that she was so happy for her and that other girls girl time together because that had been missing in her life for a very long time, like what am i chopped lver or soemthing, i guess all those days and nights i spent hanging out with her were nothing. me, i would consider it fun girl time so when i saw her writing that to the other girl my feelings were totally hurt. and now once again ignored phone calls and texts and not doing things with me but then doing things with the other girl has gotten me in a not sooo good place, of wondering and questioning just like my last good friend did, all because im jealous i guess. all i know is i dont like it!!! and im not sure what i need to do not to be this way and feel this way all the time...i could use some words of advise
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