it seems as the days go on and i try and believe things are all gonna work out some way or another i just keep getting disapointed. not like gas isnt high enough and hard enough to fill my big ass gas gusler up but everytime i have put a bunch of money worth of gas in the suburban it has broke down and i havent even been able to drive it, so there it is just sitting in the drive way with a nearly full tank of gas and full of money i didnt have to begin with and i cant even use it. we have fixed more things than i can even count or name just to try and sell the damn thing and it just keeps on messing up. what in the hell!!! i just dont understand it. And then my husband just keeps getting madder and madder about it all yet he is not willing to stop spending money on stuff we dont need like tv's and speakers and customizing our other blazer with every bit of the extra money we have instead of trying to figure out and get whatever is wrong with the one vehicle i have to depend on to get my and the kids around and the one vehicle that we are trying to sell. who is gonna buy a truck that doesnt run...NOONE!!! but no he just keeps on fussing about having to use "his" money to fix things on it. whenever i have "my" money which is not often but when i do it always goes to bills or something like that, never to anything i just want...
and not only is something always wrong with the truck but someone is always sick, first my daughter then my son then the hubby and then me, and who is the one they all want to take care of them? ME good ole mommy but as i have said many many times before when mommy finally gets down sick no one is there to take of me... so here i am sick yet still having to do everything around here, i am so exhausted, and sick, and my nerves are shot, im really thinking im gonna have to take up some kind of habit just to get me through. maybe drinking or something, maybe that would make me feel better cause these nerve pill they gave me sure arent working. i dont know what im gonna do. i couldnt even tell ya the last time i really felt calm, relaxed, with nothing on my mind to worry me to death, its literally always something around here. i need a job yet i cant get one because i dont have anyone to watch the kids. there no winning for loosing.
1 comment:
Hang in there. Being the mommy is so hard sometimes. It will get better! Have you say your hubby down and talked to him about how you are feeling?
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